i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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