I CAN MOONWALK!
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Bring me that man meat
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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