The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize