Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Operation Purity has been aborted
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
