Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
