I love black thongs
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
