let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
