I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
