Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
