I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
