Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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