Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Randomize
