i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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