Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
