You really coming over, don't trick.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
