I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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