Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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