nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
