i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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