i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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