what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
