How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
