I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
