He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
