this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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