i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
