so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
