someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
