he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
