you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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