There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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