and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
