I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
