what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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