I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
