The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
