I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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