I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
