i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
either way he was missing a nipple.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
