Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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