It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The best revenge is premature balding
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my liver is dry heaving
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
