biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
