I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
