Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
