Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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