Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
