vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
