love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
