ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
