The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
