Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
