Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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